Today was Ash Wednesday. In the past, I have been a very good Catholic little girl. I attended mass every Sunday, on holy days of obligation and sometimes on a whim. Now... not so much.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy mass. I enjoy church. I enjoy my congregation back home in Atlanta, where every one knows every one and every sings along. Recently, however, I have not been attending as much as I used to and I think I figured out why:
1. I used to attend mass in Spanish. I know all of my prayers in Spanish and subconsciously pray in Spanish in my head. Old habits die hard. Not to mention that I don't know the majority of the prayers in English!
2. Here in New Jersey I attend mass at Seton Hall, aka, where I want to be. It's super close to my apartment and I like the intimacy of the small chapel. However, going to mass means running the risk of running into someone from freshman year, someone I worked on a project once, an old professor, someone I flirted with this one time at the vending machine... conversation sparks and I always receive the, "where have you been?" or "did you switch majors?" or my favorite "are you commuting now?" (I never lived on campus.)
So I avoid it. I don't attend mass. I don't like this. Therefore, this Lenten season I will vow to try and make it to mass every Sunday and to stop avoiding my reality and not be ashamed of it.
